3 Ways Your Judgment Is Holding You Back!
Judgment (n): the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.
Sensible conclusions means being rational, not dreaming too big, and continue to play small in your life and relationships. That is my interpretation of it and a major reason why your judgment is holding you back. Judgment isn't your friend when it comes to wanting more in your life or trying something new. Just think about it. When you have judge yourself or someone, what did it feel like in your body and want thoughts popped into your head? Probably nothing good and not feeling super stellar about yourself. Like an icky feeling you just can't wash off.
In witnessing judgment in my clients and myself, I have discovered three ways judgment is holding us back in life!
1. You Censor Yourself
Censoring yourself is your ego's way of "protecting" you from saying something you perceive to be stupid or assume others will shun you for, whether it's saying what is on your mind or wanting to try something that's out of the box. Over time you've started censoring who you are iso you don't stand out and will "fit in" with the crowd. This censoring becomes your armor. Blocking you from being honest and getting to know the real you. No one wants rotten tomatoes thrown at them. That's why censoring your unique self-created the mask you thought you needed to show up in the world.
Censoring = Protection according to the ego.
2. Blocks you from creating meaningful relationships with yourself and others.
This builds off the first because you're blocking yourself from forming meaningful relationships with anyone when you censor who you truly are. How are people going to get to know the real you if you keep censoring yourself think? This is a major reason why the majority of the population is plagued with perfectionism. When what creates a meaningful connection in the world is not censoring yourself but being imperfect, that is what's real. With reality T.V. and media propaganda, society as a whole craves it when people are honest with them and real with who they are. Right? Think about why do you follow specific celebrities, pick mentors, or read newsletters like this one? Because these people, myself included, are being real with you, imperfections and all. Not censoring themselves, hoping the masses will like them. You and I both know we can see right through the B.S. someone is trying to feed us when they're trying to be real.
Judgment = Censoring = No meaningful relationships
3. It keeps you playing small.
When you start to daydream about the life you desire or a goal you want to reach, what is the first thing your judgy ego tells you?
You can't do it because:
You're not smart enough.
You're not special enough.
You're not pretty enough.
You're not deserving.
You don't have the money.
Someone else has beat you to the punch.
You're going to have to work really hard, have endless sleepless nights, and make sacrifices.
It will take too like to achieve. (Psst, the time will pass anyway, so why not just do it.)
No one wants to hear from you.
You have nothing to say.
Why should someone believe or want to purchase your products or read your blog?
Judgment wants you to play small because it wants to keep you safe by not risking putting your neck out. When that's what life is all about, it taking the risk(s), putting yourself out there to see what you're capable of. Oh, and to surprise the hell out of yourself from time to time. You risk everything by not doing anything, and you risk everything by doing something. However, your judgment convinces you the safest bet is to risk nothing by playing small. This is a lie because by risking nothing, you are still risking not living.
So, how has your judgment(s) held you back? Throughout the day, observe what judgment thoughts pop up about you and others. Just witness those thoughts. Forgive yourself for thinking it or even saying it aloud. Then choose to return to the positive. It is all about the comeback rate and witnesses your judgments instead of attaching to them.
Judgment is something we all have to navigate through in life, but it is our choice to allow it to hold us back.